I was walking to the grocery store the other day when two women stopped me on the street. Not gonna lie, I was super caught off guard having lived in a city for the past 10+ years. Oh god, what do they want from me? Are they lost? Are they going to ask me for money? How do I get out of this?
“We’re visiting from Sweden-- where would you recommend we go to grab a burger nearby?” You guys-- I have a ridiculous amount of pride for my neighborhood, so I was SO, SO excited to share with them all of the amazing places they could go that afternoon. They were probably a little overwhelmed!
It got me thinking-- how many opportunities do we pass up on a daily basis to connect with other humans because we have our faces in our screens?
They could have easily gone back to their Airbnb, pulled out their phones, and looked at Yelp for the BEST place to get a burger in San Francisco, backed by thousands of positive reviews from other people.
But I think that by wanting to maximize our personal experiences, we’ve accidentally minimized opportunities for human connection.
What do I mean by maximizing our experiences? Sometimes I get overwhelmed when thinking about a place to go to dinner, planning a vacation, or picking out a movie to watch-- I open Yelp, enter the type of restaurant I’m looking for, go to their website and check out the menu, read a bunch of reviews, check the health rating, etc. And the same thing happens when planning travel or even just picking out a movie on the weekend. It’s so ridiculous-- it’s not my last meal on earth. Why are my expectations for this movie so high? WHO CARES?
We’ve never had more access to more information, whenever we want it. Since these advancements, mediocre experiences have become largely avoidable. With review apps like Yelp, IMDB, etc. you can easily find out whether a movie or restaurant is worth your time. I honestly feel like it has lead to this weird “MAXIMIZE YOUR TIME ALL THE TIME” culture. It’s aggressive and a little unsettling-- I see this bleed into social media all the time, too. We jam pack our weekends with only the most amazing things-- if you’re not hiking 10 miles, spending all your money skiing at Lake Tahoe, staying at the coolest Airbnbs, or eating at the highest rated restaurant, what are you doing with your life?
Some of my most hilarious memories were when traveling before Yelp, finding myself quirky, bizarre scenarios. For example, Weston and I went to a South Carolina beach town a few years ago and were looking for a dinner spot. We ventured into town and sat down at an Italian restaurant, before realizing that we were the ONLY people under the age of 90 in there. The food was terrible, but we had a good laugh about it and still remember it to this day.
I’m not suggesting you go and purposefully seek out sub-par, poorly run establishments. But instead of turning to Yelp next time you need a recommendation, seek out advice from your friends! It’s no secret that people LOVE to give unsolicited advice-- so, why not solicit?! Anytime I see any of my friends ask for travel, podcast, book, restaurant recommendations on Facebook, that comment thread is always SO LONG. People love it! Weston and I are going to Japan for our honeymoon, and we have gotten so many lists of recommendations, we didn’t even have to do any research online.
Here are some ways I’m trying to work on this myself:
Ask friends for restaurant recommendations (instead of Yelp)
Ask my mom for movie recommendations (she’s such a movie buff!)
Ask servers about unfamiliar menu items (instead of googling)
When traveling, ask locals where to go (just like my Swedish friends!)
So, next time you want to turn to your phone for information, see if you can turn to a person first! Even if the recommendation sucked, you soaked up a little human goodness on the way there :) You’ll be happy you did.
<3 h